"?That's it. It's done. United have finally brought out the rusty old shotgun and unloaded two shells into the back of the head of Louis van Gaal's reign at the club. And the bastards didn't even have the decency to put up a curtain around the scene, broadcasting the gristly details of his demise for the whole world to see.
Without delving too deeply into conspiracy theories, it seems near certain that the flood of sacking reports which came out after the final whistle of the FA Cup final came directly from Jose Mourinho's camp. It's certainly a statement of intent from Mourinho - or more likely, Jorge Mendes - but it's not a pretty one. That's your immediate future now, United fans.
Louis van Gaal has issued a statement: https://t.co/U9BhkiGhyX pic.twitter.com/vkY9RC6NBt
It didn't have to be this way. There was an air of cautious optimism when Van Gaal took over at Old Trafford just under two years ago, but an opening day defeat to Swansea City and humiliation at the hands of MK Dons in the League Cup set the pattern for his reign.
Hamstrung by inheriting a squad full of players who were either old, infirm, rubbish or a combination of the three, Champions League qualification in his first season was actually a reasonable achievement.
Manchester United fans are used to success though, and the lack of a title challenge stung them. All of Van Gaal's mistakes were amplified by the situation - the signing of Angel di Maria, for example, was a mid-sized misstep turned into a disaster by overanalysis.
Jose Mourinho, Louis van Gaal and #MUFC - how rumours intensified over six months: https://t.co/tZ34F58Vr7 pic.twitter.com/GIgkHNlIko
Season number two was always going to be the big test. Not because the competition was necessarily any tougher, but because expectations sky-rocketed. One season without a title challenge was more than enough for Big Club Manchester United, thank you very much. Big time or nothing.
It became very clear which way the winds were blowing when Van Gaal was getting more criticism than ever, even as United entered October on top of the table. His style of play was boring. Anthony Martial was a waste of money. He probably strangled kittens in his spare time.
51.3% - Louis van Gaal won 51.3% of league matches as Man Utd manager; only Sir Alex Ferguson (60.4%) & Ernest Mangall (54.2%) won more. Out
When the injuries struck in the autumn, it was just the final nail in the coffin. An inelegant slide out of the Champions League compounded the problems and, when Jose Mourinho was sacked by Chelsea a week later, the end was inevitable. It wasn't a matter of whether the replacement would be made, but when it was coming and how messy it would be.
In the end, Van Gaal wasn't let go because of his own failings as much as he was let go for not being Jose Mourinho. While David Moyes left the club in a demonstrably worse state after his single season in charge, that can't be said of the Dutchman.
He may have fallen short of expectations - for good reasons or otherwise - but the club and squad are in a healthier place now than they were when he arrived after the World Cup two years ago.
The last thing the new boss needs to do is tear it up and start from zero. Squad 3/4 carefully selected recruitments away from challenging.
In Anthony Martial and Marcus Rashford, United have a pair to lead the line for years to come. Memphis may have had a tough debut season, but his talent is undeniable. Chris Smalling and Daley Blind have developed into a surprisingly effective centre-back pairing ahead of David de Gea, and Luke Shaw's return will add some real dynamism to that defence next season.
Morgan Schneiderlin should come good with regular playing time and Van Gaal's persistence with Jesse Lingard may, just quietly, be one of his best moves at the club. Each and every one of those players is 26 or younger - it's exactly the kind of strong core and future which Ferguson and Moyes failed to leave behind them.
Farewell, Louis. Enjoy the wine and the mince pies wherever it is you end up next.
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Manchester United: Louis Van Gaal's side won more games (18) than any other Premier League team in 2016 #mufc pic.twitter.com/obsLkf5XBr