"?Footballers, by and large, are one of the worst-dressed collective groups in the world. It's basically them, white rappers and teachers on non-uniform days at the very bottom of a very deep barrel.
That being said, football only got one representative in "?GQ's list of the worst-dressed men in the world going into 2017 (for comparison, British racism darlings UKIP managed two). The unfortunate man? Juventus and Brazil full back Dani Alves.
Putting Ross Noble on there is really odd, and all. Poor bloke just dresses like a northern 40-year-old, because...he is one
The flamboyant defender has sported a handful of questionable looks over the course of his career, but might feel a little unlucky to be placed alongside the likes of Tyga, Nick Cannon and far-right extremist hate-monger Milo Yiannopoulos on the list given that his fashion sense is - generally - reasonably low-key.
Or just shirtless. It's hard to dress badly when you're not dressed.
Just for the sake of comparison (and to make 10 minutes of scrolling through Alves' Instagram worthwhile), here are his sartorial missteps from the last 12 months, followed by a few others from the footballing sphere.
Man is dressed like a barcode. Straight up.
THOSE GLASSES.
Aight, this one's just funny.
On the other hand...
Congratulations @UsainBolt for the big launch!! Had a great night with the @PUMA family at the #IAMBOLT film premiere pic.twitter.com/Zg9KZkW0Zi
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And, of course, one from the archives...
OMG get on @CharlesNzo gear. #wow #WorstEver pic.twitter.com/SbWtSj0nHX
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For more from Chris when he's not writing on 90min, follow him on Twitter at @ThatChris1209
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